What is a good fit?

Life is an interesting journey.  You can have all the dreams in the world, but it all comes down to fit.  Fit within the market.  Fit within the industry.  Fit within a particular group.  But what is “fit” really?  What does that truly mean?

I’ve been trying to understand “fit” for myself.  As a Black woman from the American South there few places that people think I easily “fit” when they first meet me.  At first glance, I come off as beautiful with beautiful high cheekbones and a gorgeous smile.  But at a second look (when I speak) I blow people’s mind with the tone and smoothness of my voice combined with the passion of multiple subjects.  I’m the opposite of what society perceives black women to be.  I’m bubbly, exciting, and easily within your top 5 dinner party guests…but does this make me a good fit?

In 2016, I moved to New York after graduating from college.  All on my own (though I technically had a line sister living 4 blocks and 2 avenues away), I hopped on a plane from Las Vegas to LGA, which landed me in Harlem.  Suddenly, I went from a southern girl to a working woman.  My first job was fun, but I was bored.  Due to a wonderful internship in college, a lot of what I was doing in my day-to-day job was boring and repetitive (I also didn’t agree with how the business was being run…but that’s a conversation for another day).  I consistently found myself having coffee chats with people on various teams because I knew that there was more to life than writing POs, negotiating markdowns with vendors, and complaining about how sales were slow because of Amazon, when we all saw the writing on the wall: Our customer was gone.  We, as a company, failed the “fit” test for our consumers and they went to other retailers that were a better “fit” for their needs and how they wanted to be represented in society”

By 2018, I was promoted to a team where I was deemed a “good fit” but I was just there.  With the worst onboarding known to man I felt like I was just stuck at a computer in spreadsheets – something that I would have never signed up for.  I wasn’t allowed to go to meetings or contribute – I just had to complete the spreadsheet and send it to my manager.  Believe it or not, after months of having panic attacks in the stairway between the 19^th and 20^th floors of the building, I left.   This improper “fit” affected my mental health and everything surrounding it, my friendships, relationships, and everything in-between.

Then…things got tricky.  I thought consulting would be the ideal path for me as I’d seen so much at that point of my career, but as I got a year in – the organization folded.  Back to hustling.  I decided to work for a tradeshow organization to manage luxury partnerships in the retail space (believe it or not, I thought this was my dream job at the time), but three months into the role, COVID-19 broke out and everything went virtual.  It was the first time I felt alone, bored, and burned out – but I still had to hustle to find the right “fit” for my career.  NYC is a beast and expensive, although I am blessed to have help, I knew I had to get back on my feet.  By 2021, I was in VC, a role that I thought was a good fit on paper, but as I got more into the industry, I realized that although it looked great, it was quite possibly the worst “fit” of all (more on this later).

I realized I wanted a reset.  I realized I needed a reset.  I’d been hustling for so long in a huge city and I lost my north star.  I lost my passion.  I lost whatever I had that kept me going.  I don’t know if it happened during COVID-19, or somewhere else along the journey.  Mentally I felt like I was on a rollercoaster heading downhill and every time I tried to pull the brake to stop – it broke.  I just wanted to feel like I “fit” in somewhere and in the journey of life.

So, I went to business school.  Not just any business school, but Columbia Business School. The best institution for higher learning in New York City.  I knew I could “fit” there, but I wanted to use it to help me craft my dream career so I could continue to craft my dream life of positioning luxury goods as vehicles for women through merchandising and marketing strategies.  I did everything I thought I was supposed to do.  I hustled and secured a fall-semester internship (VC & Fashion) to get me to my summer internship (Luxury Goods).  I studied abroad at HEC Paris (the only one in my class to do so) and even met with people from Couture houses in France.  I interviewed the CFO of a luxury conglomerate and even was able to secure a temporary assignment at one of my top companies where I was told “if all goes well, we’ll bring you on full-time”.

SPOILER ALERT!  I wasn’t a good “fit”.  After all the education, exposure, and interest I showed to join the company full-time I was told, “You’re not a good fit at this time”…the week before I graduated from Columbia Business School. 

I was crushed.  I was confused.  I was disappointed.  I was angry.  I didn’t understand how this could happen.  I didn’t understand how I did everything “right” but still didn’t make it to where I wanted to be.  Where I worked so hard to be.  Where I thought I deserved to be. 

So, I took some time.  Since May 20, I have devoted my days to finding the best “fit” and it has been so hard.  It’s been hard hearing “we think you’re amazing, but not right now”, “I think you’re wonderful, we just don’t have a role for you” or my favorite “I think you’re wonderful but let me pass you on to someone else” and then *ghosted*. 

This period of my life has taught me that patience and perseverance is the key to getting what you want out of life.  It’s taught me how to smell the roses and water the garden that I currently have.  Most importantly, its taught me that the right “fit” comes at the right time.  Everything else is preparation.

As I write this, I have classmates that took the jump and found a great “fit” an internship at a luxury automobile company and strategy within the theater space.  Although it took time, I use their success as evidence that my breakthrough is on the way.  There’s a right “fit” for me and it is on the way.